• Mandee

6 Questions You Know You Want to Ask a SAHM

I’ve been a stay at home mom for six years, and in that time I’ve gotten a lot of questions about my decision to stay home.  Although being a stay at home mom is not a new phenomenon, it is making a resurgence after being dormant for decades. Some people view it as a return to tradition while others view it as a new norm.  Because of this, there is some mystery about it and people are curious. Below are 6 questions that I’ve been asked a lot.  

What made you want to be a SAHM?

It was a combination of things.  My mother stayed home with me when I was young, and I think it was very beneficial to me.  I also didn’t want to miss any of my daughter’s important milestones. Financially, it made more sense for me to stay home, especially since I already wanted to.  Daycare tuition can be more than college tuition! And it doesn’t help that daycares are in the news every other day for some kind of negligent behavior. All around, for my family, it was better for me to stay home.

Are you rich?

That’s a HARD no. In fact, part of the reason why we decided that I would stay home is because the majority of my paycheck would have gone toward daycare and gas.  I also know moms who would actually lose money by working full and paying for daycare, so staying home is actually the cheaper option. We definitely had to adjust to living off one salary, but it also taught us that we were paying for a lot of stuff that we didn’t need.  We save a lot more with me staying home than we ever did when I worked full time.

Aren’t you wasting your education/skills?

This is the question that makes me roll my eyes.  No. Just because a woman stays home doesn’t mean she’s not using her skills and education.  I have three degrees in English and before I had my daughter, I was a college English professor.  When I first started staying home, I taught one college English class online. Now I’m a best selling author, writing coach, and self-publishing coach.  I also own a media company with my husband. Clearly I’m using my education and skills. I know many SAHMs who own their own businesses or work as freelance consultants. 

How do you socialize your children?

I’m a SAHM, not a hermit.  Just because I don’t work outside the home doesn’t make me, or my daughter, a recluse.  It really is a misconception that daycare, and school for that matter, is the only way to socialize children.  Playdates, neighborhood activities, and recreational classes are great ways to ensure socialization.  

When are you going back to work?

This is another eyeroll question. Personally, I don’t plan on ever going back to a 9-5 job.  It’s just not my cup of tea. I love being home with my daughter, and I love working for myself.  I mean, who says you HAVE to work a 9-5 job?  

How do you find fulfillment in your life without working? 

Staying at home doesn’t mean a life of dreams deferred.  I love being home with my daughter and watching her learn and grow.  I am fulfilled as a parent. I love taking care of my household, making sure it runs smoothly, and taking care of my husband.  I am fulfilled as a wife. I love writing my books and running my companies. I am fulfilled with my work. I read and do crafts all the time.  I am fulfilled in my hobbies.  

Bottom line: I am fulfilled way more now than I ever was when I worked outside the home.  I’m not saying that being a SAHM is for everyone, because it isn’t, but for some it’s the best decision we’ve ever made.  Different strokes for different folks, you know?

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